‘Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.’ ~Proverbs 3:5-6
Three years. It’s funny how a period of time can seem like it has gone fast and slow all at the same time. If measured by days, sunrises and sunsets, then there have been 1,096 of them. Spring, summer, fall and winter, we have cycled through three times.
My days. Days filled with life, love, little boys, big boys. The beautiful brides. Some nights, late at night, I close my eyes and play back the memory reel in my mind. Like favorite scenes in a movie I see our days play out: beach vacations, Christmas mornings, pool barbecues, birthdays, anniversaries.
Mothers’ days…
Treasured memories tucked away safe in the deepest well of my heart. Memories that no longer include her.
My days are like your days. There are highs and lows, good and bad, joy and sorrow. She’s missed so many days.
He was only six weeks old when Mom passed. Our sweet Skylar. I think to myself almost daily, ‘Oh Mom, you would have loved this little blonde boy.’ I’m not sure if there’s a window from heaven to earth but I like to believe there might be. Imagining that she sees how much I love being a grandma brings joy to my heart.
I like to imagine Mom in her new heavenly home. I have seen her in dreams. Some nights as I drift off to sleep I ask God to please bring her to me in my dreams. And He has.
Losing your mom is something you never get over. I know this now. It is something you walk through and live with for the remainder of your days. Experience has taught me to draw strength from those who love me. God has placed an amazing family around me and in the early days when the sorrow tried to pull me under they were there to prop me up.
Family. One of God’s best ideas.
On the eve of that unexpected day I find myself in a new place. Strength has returned and joy is full. Just this week I shared with my beautiful daughter-in-love Cori these words: ‘I’m back!’ She smiled and her eyes twinkled. She knows. She is also a member of this exclusive club.
Jesus is generous and kind and surprises me each day with another dimension of His love. It’s humbling. But I receive it. One day at a time.
Beautiful; God is good all of the time.
So good. I am humbled by his generous love and goodness. Bless you, friend. Miss you!