‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light.’ ~Jesus
When people I love are hurting I find myself standing helplessly at the base of the giant mountain called ‘insurmountable inadequacy.’ I feel frustrated, awkward, wanting to say the right thing at the right time, wanting it fixed right now. Let me take your pain. Please.
In the critiquing process of specific conversations I replay the words I meant to be loving and encouraging, whipping out that big, imaginary red pen and start marking away. ‘Why did I say it that way? I meant this but I bet it sounded like that…’ And on and on the self-talk plays out in the circular conversation that only I can hear.
Growing up I lived among a family who loved well. I would have picked no other group of people to live, laugh and love with these past 55 years. But if this family had one glaring defect it would be its aversion to conflict and facing hard stuff head on.
In my growing up years and as a young adult, there were two techniques used to face the hard stuff we all encounter on this path called life. The first is what I will call the ‘stick-your-head-in-the-sand’ technique. Just pretend it is not there. If you don’t see it, it’s not a problem. The second was to simply gloss over the deep pain, the devastating news, with the simple cliché that ‘everything is going to be okay.’
When my mom died suddenly three years ago we all got a crash-course on getting real. Thank you Jesus!
From that day forward God has been showing me the better path of entering in and walking beside those who have great hurts, deep wounds, just heard the worst news, and are living circumstances that can not and will not be fixed today. Or tomorrow.
It has been my hardest life lesson.
Here is what has been the most pleasant surprise, though. God walks beside me as I walk beside the precious one who is hurting.
I’ve decided to put fear on the shelf and believe God when He says that He is sufficient to meet all needs. Here is what this looks like in the practical:
Instead of just sending someone a card when I hear they have cancer I actually sit across a table from them (with no words…there are NO words) entering into their pain up close and personal. While they speak words that often times are clinging to the last thread of hope I ask God, “What next? What are my next words? I’ve got nothing here, God. Quick. She’s finishing her sentence.”
Or the friend whose hubby just lost his job. Or the friend whose kids are so far off the tracks she’s having trouble finding God’s plan (and goodness) in the big picture.
God has yet to leave me hanging. I can stand today and honestly say this is indeed the better path. I am living and learning it. Up close and personal.
Peace Through The Storm... 